Sunday, September 25, 2011

Goodbye 20s!

I don't mean the roaring 1920s that came to an abrupt halt when the Stock Market crashed in 1929.  Nor am I referring to the 2020s, because it hasn't happened yet obviously.  I mean *MY* 20s.

Today is my 30th birthday!

Turning 30 usually marks the time when your youth is gone and the ingress into adulthood truly begins.  One is generally becoming established in...well...something.  Some might accept the fact that some life dreams are just not going to manifest for them, while others take a drastic turn trying to knock as many things off their Bucket List as possible.

I am at a crossroads.  I have a few different paths I want to take myself in, and I know some of them will intersect, but not all.  It's more than a little frustrating.  Of course, it's not absolutely necessary to decide now, but I don't want to let some fabulous opportunities pass me by due to indecision.  It's that latter possibility that has me the most concerned.  But I digress.

I'm actually happy to see my 20s disappear into the abyss.  My 20s, overall, were terrible.  I spent more time trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be or wanted me to do than I did being true to myself and my dreams.  I mistook it all for sacrifice necessary for growth.  But I didn't grow, at least, not as in many positive ways as I would have expected.  I've done more of that in the last year than in the last 10.

No, I'm really looking forward to my 30s.  I no longer care if people take me seriously, I hardly do at times so why should I expect more from them?  But if I don't at least have someone's respect, then I move on.  I'm not going to waste my time proving or defending myself.  I have many accomplishments that reflect me well enough and I try to live my life with respect and compassion.  Eventually, people see that without much interaction.  Those who don't will entertain themselves for a time coming up with weird theories, I suppose.  Whatever makes you giddy.

I have lots of ideas for the future, and I'm so looking forward to seeing how some of them pan out...if at all.  I'm trying to remain open to the possibilities the universe presents and allow myself to take unexpected paths.

I really don't mind getting older.  As long as I take care of myself, surround myself with people I love and whom love me in return, work hard, play harder, and be absolutely present in today, I think I'm pretty solid until the day I pass from this world to the next.

But...I think I'll start off my initiation into real "adulthood" by reverting into childhood for a few days.

Because it's my fucking birthday and I'm a princess, and I can do whatever the hell I want!


<3 Mica

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