Friday, August 5, 2011

Back to Writing

I've been thinking about writing a lot.  It's actually getting ridiculous.  I'm always thinking of the next topic(s) and how to branch out.  Not for any reason than to satisfy my desire to write.  I had wanted to be a writer when I was growing up, mostly short stories and quirky opinion pieces.  While I felt novels were too involved, I felt a world was better created through short stories highlighting the people who lived in it.

This love for writing and creating worlds and characters was further fueled by my involvement in role-playing games, in particular LARP (live action role-playing).  Not only did I create characters, but I could test drive them.  Their lives and characteristics would unfold during game play and take on a life of their own.

Many years ago, I stopped writing.  I found myself no longer surrounded by people who wrote as a hobby but by people who sought professional careers through their writing.  In some cases, I felt threatened and so I didn't discuss my passion.  Obviously, I had convinced myself, I wasn't really passionate if I wasn't planning on taking it to the same professional level.  I didn't want them to judge me with their harsh lenses. A criticism of my work was obviously an extension of their criticism on my character.  Yes, it's quite a leap of logic, but considering the circumstances and, looking back, I may not have been far off the mark.

Eventually, I just stopped writing.  I felt too threatened and I was distracted by other new and exciting ventures that kept me occupied.  Sometimes I wrote in a journal, but it was tedious and I didn't enjoy it at all. I forced myself to do it on occasion, but more often than not I "forgot" or made excuses.

I'm not sure what clicked in the last year or so, but I'm enjoying it again.  Mostly it's journal-style writing, but I hope it is thoughtful and useful to others that read it.  I still haven't gotten back into fiction writing, but perhaps has I practice writing I will begin to feel more comfortable and confident so I can begin to venture back out in that direction.

Writing is definitely apart of me again.  When talking to friends and they ask me what I'm doing with my evening, I often rattle off "writing".  It's funny how things come around.  This time I'm just enjoying the exercise and try not to get lost in worrying about what other think about it.

No comments: