A Letter to My Sister

Dear Sister,

It's possible in the sea of love you'll undoubtedly receive today, you'll miss this message.  That's okay, I know you'll come across it later if not sooner.  It's no less true tomorrow than today. In fact, I actually started writing this letter in 2012. Better than never :)

Even though I may not get to celebrate your special day with you in person, I still honor the fact that you are present in my life.  Many moon seasons ago, you came into this world, the first child of the two quirkiest adults (if one could really call them that) I will ever have the pleasure of knowing.

The first lesson you taught me was to represent myself accurately to the world. I wasn't quite five years old yet like you and all my other peers at La Petite, but I was still closer to five than four. You distinguished me as four and three quarters, and from that moment on I always held myself to be more mature than I was, even to this day.

The second lesson you taught me was to see the humor in...everything...and not take the world so personally (I'm not sure I'll really ever get this one, but at least it's rattling around in there somewhere). From the first, "Hey, BITCH!" (I can't remember who even started this), I have always and will always remember that remarks that are meant to be offensive aren't always personal, and to choose to laugh where others choose to react with something less enjoyable.

The third lesson you taught me was to ask for help. There are times I look back regretfully at the scary things I would say to you when I was in my darkest moments. You had the courage to get me help. Even though it angered me at the time, I appreciate it even to this day. I owe every happy memory I have possessed since to your courage. Thank you for letting me be vulnerable and putting up with my shit.

The fourth lesson you taught me was to make no apology for being me, whoever or whatever that may be in the moment. In my eyes, you will always be a Goddess of freedom, freedom from the judgement of others and freedom from the judgement of self...even though I know you struggle at times, too.

We both have our own lives now, as I always suspected we would when we were children. I don't get to see you as much as I'd like. I don't get to play with your girls as often as I'd like. And yet I don't feel so far separated from you. I know you'll always be there for me, and I hope you know I am always here for you whatever the real or imagined distance may be. I will always love you, and you will always be my Sister.

Happy birthday, Debbie.