Limitations

It was bound to happen eventually.  I mean, I knew it was inevitable.  I've been feeling pretty good for the most part lately.  I've been doing a strenuous workout for the last week; I was even able to do a bit of strenuous yard work without any repercussions!  I've been thinking of finding other ways to add more physical activity to my life, at least eventually and gradually.     Overall, things have been good for me, physically speaking.  I even lost several pounds in the last couple weeks!

But then my nerves flared up.  I'm not sure what triggered the onset of the pain.  I'm assuming it had more to the fact that I haven't been sleeping well the last few days due to some nervous anxiety.  I don't think it's the exercise.  In fact, most fibromyalgia treatments recommend healthy doses of regular movement in order to combat pain.  Dopamine is released during periods of physical activity which ends up acting like sunblock for the skin before venturing outside, except you're protecting your nerves from themselves.

Well, whatever.  I spent all day laid out, hobbling about, being generally unproductive and worthless.  I hate it.

Once the nerves on fire sensation settled into just a painful ache in my joints, I tried to get up and move a bit.  Namely, by picking up a basket of laundry that had been sitting in the dryer for a week and hauling it up the stairs to hold.  Wow, that was dumb!  I used the last of my oomph to collect books into the bed with me, only to be pinned by my nurse-cats.

It's super easy to forget that I have limitations, even when I feel fabulous.  Every day needs to be approached with patience and gratitude, and it's so difficult to remember that in the moment.  Every day is also an opportunity to learn from mistakes.  Some day I'll learn how to work around my limitations, but part of me still hopes I'll be "cured" someday.  Who knows, maybe I will.